For All The Lady Worship Leaders…

brookeSo I was researching female worship leaders the other day and I came across this hilarious article on women in worship. It was posted on Jon Acuff’s site (For those of you who don’t know, he is the guy who wrote, “Stuff Christians Like”), but this particular article was written by Daniella Summers. It is hilarious and really captures the features of a lady worship leader. Disclaimer: if you are not a lady worship leader, you might not get some of these jokes. Here is a portion of her article:

I’m no expert, but I am a girl and I happen to be a worship leader. From my experience and observation I’ve noticed there are a few fashion rules that most female worship leaders end up falling under, whether intentional or not:

1. Owns at least one pair of large hoop earrings.

2. Even during the warm months, wears some sort of boots over jeans.

3. A tunic or dress is almost always worn over leggings or skinny jeans (and rightfully so…or else she might get stoned. Maybe be mistaken for Fergie. You never know.)

4. Change’s hair styles at least every six months. Multiple shades of highlights/lowlights are a staple.

5. Depending in which region of the country, flip flops are worn and then taken off after the second song, for a more “intimate” setting.

6. Subscribes to Lucky magazine and People’s by monthly Style Watch.

7. Shops almost entirely at Anthropologie, Free People, J.Crew, H&M or Forever 21.

8. Wears more jewelry than all women, combined, sitting in the first two rows.

9. Wears black nail polish.

10. Sports a scarf at least every other week. ..all while still wearing 5 pounds of jewelry.

11. Has a nose ring.

12. Carries a bag of Ricola’s or Altoids in her purse at all times.

13. Drinks Tazo tea.

14. Wears at least two cocktail rings at a time.

15. Has side swept bangs and sometimes attempts the “beach waves” hair look. (This is a delicate balance between using the curling iron, flat iron and lots of Bumble & Bumble or Bed Head brand hair product. You’re welcome.)

16. Can’t say no to pairing Converse’s with skirt or dress, which, must fall at or below the knees.

17. Sometimes takes style inspiration from Sheryl Crow, Miley Cyrus (or is it Hanna Montana?), Fergie (circa 2005, before she started looking like Lady Gaga and Rhianna’s love child), or any girl from American Idol’s top 10. Again, it’s all about which area of the country you reside.

18. Does her devotionals and bible studies at Starbucks.

19. Chooses at least one song from Hillsong per set. Mainly, something done by Brooke Fraser.

20. Sometimes has to pull out the big guns and nonchalantly throw in the fact that the very first worship leader EVER was actually a girl – Miriam, sister of Aaron (go ahead, open your Bible or Google it), and the first person to see Jesus after He rose from the dead was also a woman – Mary Magdalene.

21. May find herself baking cookies or brownies on Saturday nights for the sound and tech guys, the lead guitarist and percussionist because they have more power than anyone acknowledges.

22. And, unlike male worship leaders, ladies are susceptible to shedding a few tears during a song when led by the Holy Spirit. Although, the dude wearing white jeans might possibly be doing the same. It’s ok, Jesus wept too.

23. Really hopes that once in a while someone will approach her after church and say “You have a heart of gold and a voice of a lion. I bust open every time.”

Unfortunately, I fit more of these stereotypes then less. Haha. But I guess that is what I get for being a lady worship leader. 🙂 If you want to read the entire article, click HERE. And if you want to read more on Jon Acuff and his book, “Stuff Christians Like”, click HERE.